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Thanks to Patpending for this amusing set of comments on the Apple Crumble Recipe.

Delicious! Far more helpful than the site of a certain broadcasting corporation whose recipe goes

1) get correct ingredients

2) make apple crumble the right way

3) eat apple crumble.

Not made this before - so here are a cooking duffer's comments. I don't normally have butter, sugar, or flour in the house so bought them in specially.  The recipe uses normal sugar and normal butter (see comment on quantity below); but the duffer should beware that there are TWO kinds of flour,
1) "plain" and
2) "self-raising" (contains yeast)
and that,  although this recipe is a simple one, it does NOT use "plain" flour but rather "self-raising".

To prepare oneself to make this, one should note that, in addition to the utensils listed, the following will be needed, so get these ready:

 - a dry bowl to make the crumble mixture
 - a plate for the butter before mixing it
 - two bowls, one each for the sugar and the flour after measuring them out but before mixing them
 - sharp knife to peel the apples
 - bowl to store apples while cutting (the recipe creates first apple
 quarters, then chunks)
 - newspaper for apple peel

As you can see from the illustration, the dish in which the crumble is cooked can be referred to as a "Pyrex" dish, to avoid confusion (other
brands are available).

There are certain rules to cooking that professional cooks probably know
well, but two are important here:

1) wash your hands thoroughly before making this.  Avoid the comment "I  love making apple crumble, my hands are always so clean afterwards!\"

 2) Peeling an apple.  I used a small, sharp knife to get the green peel off the apples.  Be very careful doing this bit... the bits of apple peel can be collected in newspaper and composted...

Weights:  I can never remember whether 12 or 14 ounces make a furlong ;-) so I used standard metric measurements.  Beware that if you are using  butter the recipe might as well use a metric quarter pound (125g) rather than 120g or you will be messing around for ages before you realise you want half a standard metric half-pound (250g) pat!

Also, where the recipe says add "four ounces" of sugar to the crumble, take two thirds of what you have measured out (80g).

Making this took me far longer than suggested, which I mention not as a criticism, but as a pointer for other cooking duffers.  Making the crumble took some 15 minutes and processing the apples took half an hour.

As for the recipe, don't make it too complicated if trying for the first time.  Leave out the cinnamon, cereal etc. for a more authentic taste of real apples.

Thank you cookuk.  As they say in the Beano: Sloo!